on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
