I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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