At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
