Sponge bath it is.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
