Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
