She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
