I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
