You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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