I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
