I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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