fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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