I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
