Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
