I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
