I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
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