after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
how drunk are you?
Several
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
