It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
