We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
