Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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