Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
