i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Randomize
