i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Rumble strips road head = magical
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
