On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize