Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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