Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
the liver wants what the liver wants
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
