are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
