I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
