And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
So squirting runs in the family.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
