careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
