all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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