I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
