Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
