She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
