Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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