it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
