and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Randomize
