Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
