I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
