do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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