Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
