I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
