Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
