Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
