yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
