His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
