Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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