Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
