Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
