dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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