My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
