im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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