On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
