I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
So. Much. Porn.
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