Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
