why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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