I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
