I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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