I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
