Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
