Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
