i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
